First Drabble Ever
Jun. 12th, 2006 01:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lady_kareliaWell. I suppose it's a scene rather than a drabble, being way over 100 words. Not beta-read, either, as I'm not sure if I'll post it anywhere else. Concrit gratefully received.
Like you said, I’m deluded
"Severus... If you liked a girl, what would you do?"
"What do you think I'd do? I'd keep it to myself, since she would never reciprocate my feelings!" he said impatiently, without hesitation, busy stirring the potion.
"But... Severus.... If she liked you, too, and you'd never asked her, you might miss a real chance here!"
"Hermione! Get real! The only girl going for me would have to be seriously deluded! And I would be highly unlikely in that case to reciprocate her feelings! Kindly grant me some taste!"
"I guess I am seriously deluded then. Although... oh. Never mind," said Hermione dejectedly. "Forget it." She made for the door.
"Hermione!" He was at her side in a split second. "What are you saying?"
She looked away from him, admiring one more time the beautiful path that led from the street to his front door. "Nothing. Just curious. Like you said, I'm deluded," she replied, looking everywhere but at him.
Her urge to always be truthful, no matter what, took over, and she let out a deep sigh. "I guess, what I want to say, Severus, is... what I want to say... Oh fuck. I'm in love with you, alright? I don't know how to say it any other way, and quite frankly, as you know, I'm not a Slytherin. I'm a Gryffindor, and I'm blunt. So there! I am in love with you. Now go screw yourself." She made to move away, away from him, away from that eternal embarrassment she just got herself into, away from everything, but he grabbed her by her shoulders and forced her to turn around.
"I think not," he said slowly. "How about... get back inside and we'll talk about that?"
She looked at him incredulously. "You want to talk about it?"
"I don't really want to talk about it, I'd rather show you what I feel for you, Hermione," he drawled and took her hand to pull her back inside.
Once back inside, he simply slammed the door before bending down to capture her mouth. It wasn't quite the same as being kissed by Ron. It was better. It was full of passion. It was... life.
Like you said, I’m deluded
"Severus... If you liked a girl, what would you do?"
"What do you think I'd do? I'd keep it to myself, since she would never reciprocate my feelings!" he said impatiently, without hesitation, busy stirring the potion.
"But... Severus.... If she liked you, too, and you'd never asked her, you might miss a real chance here!"
"Hermione! Get real! The only girl going for me would have to be seriously deluded! And I would be highly unlikely in that case to reciprocate her feelings! Kindly grant me some taste!"
"I guess I am seriously deluded then. Although... oh. Never mind," said Hermione dejectedly. "Forget it." She made for the door.
"Hermione!" He was at her side in a split second. "What are you saying?"
She looked away from him, admiring one more time the beautiful path that led from the street to his front door. "Nothing. Just curious. Like you said, I'm deluded," she replied, looking everywhere but at him.
Her urge to always be truthful, no matter what, took over, and she let out a deep sigh. "I guess, what I want to say, Severus, is... what I want to say... Oh fuck. I'm in love with you, alright? I don't know how to say it any other way, and quite frankly, as you know, I'm not a Slytherin. I'm a Gryffindor, and I'm blunt. So there! I am in love with you. Now go screw yourself." She made to move away, away from him, away from that eternal embarrassment she just got herself into, away from everything, but he grabbed her by her shoulders and forced her to turn around.
"I think not," he said slowly. "How about... get back inside and we'll talk about that?"
She looked at him incredulously. "You want to talk about it?"
"I don't really want to talk about it, I'd rather show you what I feel for you, Hermione," he drawled and took her hand to pull her back inside.
Once back inside, he simply slammed the door before bending down to capture her mouth. It wasn't quite the same as being kissed by Ron. It was better. It was full of passion. It was... life.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-12 08:44 pm (UTC)The following doesn't have anything to do with your drabble in particular but is a general remark. Personally, I don't like them that much because I often think that 100 words (or 200 for that matter) are not enough for characterising the characters properly. I have read many drabbles with the characters being named Snape and Hermione, but the scene was so short that I couldn't help feeling that it could have been anyone.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-13 09:09 pm (UTC)And I'm with you generally where drabbles are concerned. Which is why I posted this only to LJ and not any archive. ;-)